A Memory of forever.....

Pretty mom during her early years

Twenty years ago when I last saw you...since I last hugged you but I can still remember everything about you, the last lines you told me "Nak, ayusan mo ako, baka may mga dumating na Press mamaya". That was my Mom, even in sickness, she can manage to crack a joke. Sadly, those words that she uttered became true.....

My mom has a Rheumatic Heart condition since young . The term "rheumatic heart disease" refers to the chronic heart valve damage that can occur after a person has had an episode of acute rheumatic fever. This valve damage can eventually lead to heart failure (Source : About.com). 

Year 1989 when she starts to have a regular visit with her Doctor and on the 3rd week of June, I thought it was a just a regular check up, I remember vaguely seeing my Dad talking to her Doctor in a serious manner. I was the youngest and I was only 16 then and they thought I can't handle the truth, somehow, they kept the true condition of my mom from me but I have a certain feeling of sadness and fear that I can't explain. 

Eve of June 24, I was tasked to be her watch at the hospital. I have our first CAT Orientation back then so my Mom told me to get some sleep which I did. Instead of me taking care of her, she was watching over me while asleep, I woke up hearing her cough so hard, I stood up and gave her water, instead of bothering me she told me to go back to sleep again. After a nurse attended to her, she went back to sleep, I suppose.  

Early morning of June 24, I was getting ready for my first CAT orientation when she asked me to get her a medicine, sadly, I did gave in to her request that easy, she told me, "Sige na anak, last na ito".... those words suddenly got me, so I obliged myself to get her some medicine before I go to school. 

Before I left for school, she asked me another favor, "Nak, ayusan mo ako, baka may mga dumating na Press mamaya".  My mom is a Susan Roces fanatic, and sometimes we tease her that she looks like her. I was happy enough to comb her hair, wipe some parts of her body and change her clothes, she was teasing me about my highschool crush while we are having that moment. After that, she told me to go and told me that she will just wait for our house helper to replace me. My siblings and my Dad was at home since they have been assigned to be at the hospital almost the entire week. 

My Mom - Upper right most with her siblings. Beside her is the eldest, Papa Ben.
Below : Pape Fred, Papa Thor and Tita Nonna or Tita Mommy as we call her

So I left before 7:00AM...at around 9:30AM, I saw my sister at the school grounds, I was excused from the CAT Orientation and gave me the bad news that my Mom is gone. I ran around the school parking lot like crazy...crying and in shocked! I went to where my sister was standing and we went home to get her favorite dress for the burial. 

We arrived 45 mins later or so, my brother and my Dad was already there. I ran up to her and hugged her tight and told her how much i love her...after i said those words, the warmth of her body is slowly diminishing. As if she justed for me to arrive.  I was trying to recall everything that had happened that whole time I was in hospital, and i regret that moment that I did not follow her request right away to get her the medicine. I know it was time for her to go, but I learned a lesson that CHILDREN SHOULD REALLY OBEY THEIR PARENTS and SHOW YOUR LOVED ONES HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM WHILE THEY ARE ALIVE. 

Up to this day, I still miss my mom. Not a single day that I am longing for her. 24 years had passed and I can still remember how we were when she was still with us. Sending all my love and prayers to you MOM, may you keep watching over us. I love you.

That dress that I was wearing....she made it for me. She was indeed a Supermom! She is the best cook ever, she can do carpentry, be a plumber if we need it, my movie buddy, our best friend.